Thursday, February 08, 2007
10:51:00 pm
I feel as though I'm too young, and my brain works too slowly.
It has been rather discouraging at times, throughout these past few weeks of working. Well, let's take a few moments to reflect yeah. Lessons have been fine thus far. Learning lots as I go along. Rather apprehensive for assessment though. I wonder how my classes are doing. And I wonder what they think of me haha. But at times, it has been rather discouraging, like how my own student goes to another teacher for help. both mentally and acadamically. It makes me feel, like I'm not good enough. but at least, she didnt ask help for chem.
and again, i wonder what am i doing relief teaching? ruining people's lives in chem? my brain works too slowly. like how it always does. i wonder, why.
and again, i wonder what am i doing relief teaching? i'm not one who talks well. i'm not one who talks much. some days, sometimes, i'm just too tired to talk, i just write explainations down since no one ever seems to catch what i say anYway.. then i get discouraged when class comes in so late. when everyone's talking away. when a student asks if he can go to the toilet and ends up standing outside class drinking a drink. i was, hurt. much.
but then again, there was this one happy, really encouraging moment, when i received this sms which lifted my spirits so much, it made me realise, God loves me. n everything works according to His plan, His timing. I'm learning to put my trust in Him. QT every morning is a MUST :)
well tuition, is rather draining. i'm worried she wouldnt do well for her upcoming tests :(
piano is exasperating. i think i'm a useless teacher. i can't sight read or play their pieces either. does tt make me as lousy or even worse than sarah chua? some mothers have already started complaining :( why can't i sight read the way i think when i'm alone? why in front of ppl, everything freezes?
i guess, God has His plans.
TRUST.
that one msg really uplifted my terribly down spirit.
i really appreciate it, alot.
thank you
