0 comments
Foolish heart looks like we're here again But you see the real me Painted on, life is behind a mask But you see the real me Wonderful, beautiful is what you see But you see the real me And you love me just as I am Wonderful, Beautiful is what you see
0 comments
0 comments
0 comments
0 comments
Same old game of plastic smile
Don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
How much will they take before I'm empty
Do I let it show, does anybody know?
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
Self-inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of the song and dance
Living a Charade, always on parade
What a mess I've made of my existence
But you love me even now
And still I see somehow
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
When you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry
I just wanna be me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
When you look at me
hello.
newspaper collection was okay. my 3rd year doing. haha. somehow, it gets faster each yeah eh. i spent much of the day nicely alone. with my own thoughts. piano was fine. i realised the next time i'm back at that place, i'd probably already gotten my results. scary eh.
it's time to reorganise things, get moving, and get to-do lists down before i start panicking once again
after piano, went for church y=mx+c... it was good in a way. good singing, funny acting, cool batch peeps, n i found MORE DL FRIENDS! :)
only thing, there's one thing weighing down my heart.
no, it's not results.
band dinner was nice at fish n co. good catching up. army stories. grown army man with senior recruit ng ming jie :) and junior recruit ozm. haha! :)
i dunno why, but my spirit just feels uplifted, n refreshed, despite some disappointing moments today as well as 4half hrs of sleep only. tired! :) i really MUST learn to trust in the Lord's always-perfect timing! :)
it's been a happy day :) class was rather fun, watching ppl play stupid games which include bashing ppl up. how funny -.- had a nice time in bandroom. interesting. bandroom rocks :) had a nice run thru titans route. dint finished as planned tho. no time also anw.
i cant wait for church tmr cuz 1) it's stg different 2) NO MORE ETHAN (n sat students!) FOR 2 WHOLE WEEKS wahahhahaaa. but just tt sitting on the floor is tiring bleah.
everyone wants to be loved. who doesnt? just look at the eunos kids clammering for attention. altho contrary to what MR eugene says, n altho i know it wasnt that, but still.
tired tired. time to do some 'homework' before sleep. brought home all the pracs to mark. sighh. they exhuast me as i try to figure out what ppl are doing. like i said, my brain kinda stalls and works too slowly most of the time --> as a result, the prob of gp. sigh not looking forward.
but trusting God's plans yeah.
nite.
I feel as though I'm too young, and my brain works too slowly.
It has been rather discouraging at times, throughout these past few weeks of working. Well, let's take a few moments to reflect yeah. Lessons have been fine thus far. Learning lots as I go along. Rather apprehensive for assessment though. I wonder how my classes are doing. And I wonder what they think of me haha. But at times, it has been rather discouraging, like how my own student goes to another teacher for help. both mentally and acadamically. It makes me feel, like I'm not good enough. but at least, she didnt ask help for chem.
and again, i wonder what am i doing relief teaching? ruining people's lives in chem? my brain works too slowly. like how it always does. i wonder, why.
and again, i wonder what am i doing relief teaching? i'm not one who talks well. i'm not one who talks much. some days, sometimes, i'm just too tired to talk, i just write explainations down since no one ever seems to catch what i say anYway.. then i get discouraged when class comes in so late. when everyone's talking away. when a student asks if he can go to the toilet and ends up standing outside class drinking a drink. i was, hurt. much.
but then again, there was this one happy, really encouraging moment, when i received this sms which lifted my spirits so much, it made me realise, God loves me. n everything works according to His plan, His timing. I'm learning to put my trust in Him. QT every morning is a MUST :)
well tuition, is rather draining. i'm worried she wouldnt do well for her upcoming tests :(
piano is exasperating. i think i'm a useless teacher. i can't sight read or play their pieces either. does tt make me as lousy or even worse than sarah chua? some mothers have already started complaining :( why can't i sight read the way i think when i'm alone? why in front of ppl, everything freezes?
i guess, God has His plans.
TRUST.
that one msg really uplifted my terribly down spirit.
i really appreciate it, alot.
thank you